Ch. 3 - Nurtured as Partners in Ministry

What seemed most meaningful to you in this chapter? This basic look at faith formation is essential to us, as we work with children, both in the church and elsewhere in our lives. How do the gifts of the children (trust, fresh point of view, unrestrained emotions) impact you in your experience of church and in the classroom?

The authors tell us, "Every child needs someone to listen to events that have happened at home, to jokes and riddles to fears and triumphs. Every child needs someone to listen to his or her question sensitively." In a classroom setting, how can we help facilitate this listening?

The authors also write, 

"Faith, too, follows a developmental process that is related to the other processes of development. Children are persons of faith. Their faith may be different from the faith of an adult, but it is real and genuine and fits the development and needs of the child. Faith involves building trust, developing a body of beliefs, and taking action on those beliefs."

 What does this mean to you, as you work with our children?

The authors do a great job looking at developmental stages and faith development. Did anything in this chapter surprise you?

And, finally, the authors include some wisdom from John Westerhoff,

"...all three generations are necessary in the faith community. Children, the first generation can be persons of vision. The second generation confronts the community with reality. The third generation provides memory and a sense of continuity. All three are necessary because each makes its own contributions."

Which role belongs to you? Are you living up to your responsibility? Are you inviting others to participate and live up to their own responsibilities?

Ah, the church is an invigorating, exciting place.

Let's breathe in the always perplexing, always challenging, always inspiring ways in which Spirit leads us forward.

Tamalyn

Ch. 2 - Adult Leaders with Children Speak Up

How did you relate to this chapter? Do you identify with the authors' assertion that, "our world is moving and changing rapidly, and we often get caught up in the urgent at the expense of the important?" Do you feel that it's often hard for you to give children the priority they need and deserve? How can you make an adjustment, in your life, so that this can change?

The authors also talk about our need, as adult leaders of children, for training. What training are you needing, at this stage of your teaching/leading?

• Are you needing more information about the psychological or sociological needs and stages of the children with which you work?
• Are you wanting better guidance when using your curriculum?
• Do you need more materials for your classroom?
• What other support would you like, if you could have anything?

The authors tell us, "We should share with others what God is doing in our lives through our contacts with children." When is the last time you did this?

It's so easy for us to share the "cute" kids stories, or the funny stories from a classroom. But, how often do we tell people how these children have touched our hearts? How often do we even stop to think that these little ones can speak for God and make a beautiful difference to us in our own faith journeys? How often do we tell the children what they mean to us?

Look at the questions at the end of this chapter. Consider them carefully. They go straight to the heart of our ministry with children.

I'm pondering VERY carefully. And praying hard for our kids!

Tamalyn

Chapter 1, Children Today Speak Up

What did you think of this chapter? Did you feel as if your own childhood was sheltered and you lived in a world of fun and fantasy? Do you look at today's children, shake your head, and cry out, "Oh, if only we could go back to the way it was. Things were so nice back when I was little."

Or, was your childhood experience a little different? Do realize that no time in history has ever been perfect, and children have always needed the love of God, the security the church can and should bring to their lives, and the knowledge that someone hears them when they speak up.

As you read this chapter, what, if anything, leaps out at you? Heusser and Heusser write, "Today's children do not live in a secure world of fun and fantasy. They live with the reality of the world before them daily. They are continuously exposed to its harshness."

It's been said that this is a change that took place during the Vietnam War, when the daily death counts were given on the news and war was played out in our living rooms for the very first time. Media has changed our exposure to the world. As has the increase in single parent households, children being raised by people other than their parents, and children left unattended while their parents are at work.

Heusser and Heusser speak of the technological world, but they wrote their book prior to the computers we know today, the World Wide Web at our fingertips, and cell phones in our pockets. Anything that children want to know, they google or bing. They don't have to whisper in the hallways at school or hope that their big brothers and sisters will tell them. They can find out for themselves. And you can bet that they're not googling questions about how God loves them or when Jesus fed 5000 people on a hillside.

Pay close attention to the questions asked by the authors. They may give you some important insight.

And page 11 brings up essential info regarding the need for love. The authors write, with regards to negative influences, "The force of these events can be lessened if a child feels the security that comes from receiving love and care. this sense of personal security and worth develops as the child is held and touched, talked with and listened to, and cared for tenderly."

How many children in our world are not receiving this personal security and worth? How many children in our churches are not feeling listened to, not feeling that tender care? And how easily can we reach out to them with openness, tenderness, love, compassion?

Many children's lives have been changed because of the influence of one person. Perhaps that person will be you.

May the strength of the Spirit flow within your veins this day.

Tamalyn

Children as Partners... Foreword

Some of you have had ample time in which to order your books. Others have just joined us on this journey, so you may need a little more time for shipping. Remember, the book is out of print, but used copies are available at amazon.com.

If you want to skip ahead, here's the Foreword, which is written by Marian Wright Edelman. Many of you will know her from the Children's Defense Fund.

Think about Edelman's words - that when she was a child, children were taught, not by sermonizing, but by personal example. Has this been your experience? If so, how? And how do you experience that in the church now? How have we brought this tradition into the future?

Can you imagine taking children to the bedsides of the very ill to tend to their bedsores? It seems that we've worked very hard to shield our children from all that is unsanitary, frightening, unpalatable. Have we done them a disservice?

Edelman says, "I went and learned early just how much the smallest helping hands and kindness can mean to a person in need."

What lessons are now missing in today's society? Today's churches?

How could we teach these valuable lessons while still protecting our children?

What legacies are we leaving the children of today? Madonna sang that we are living in a material world. Is this the legacy we're leaving our children, rather than the lesson of which Edelman speaks, the lessons of "a living faith reflected in daily service, the discipline of hard work and perseverance, and a capacity to struggle in the face of adversity?"

As we begin this study, take a look at your own preconceptions of our society, your personal gifts, the role the church plays in influencing children, and how that all works together to teach children faith and values.

Edelman has set a good goal for us. She writes, "All children should be helped to realize that their compassionate service with and for others is needed. All children should experience the welcome, love, and acceptance of congregation members."

So, put on your working boots, folks. We've a big job ahead of us. But, we've a very capable Spirit to guide us.

Taking a deep breath,
Tamalyn

Children in the Church

It is my hope that Children as Partners in the Church will help us take a look at our relationships with the children in our churches, our expectations for those children, as well as the expectations we have of ourselves as we provide educational, worshipful, and spiritual experiences for them. May we always remember that, when they walk through the doors of our churches, the experiences they have within our buildings are experiences they may carry with them throughout their lives. For good or ill. The memories may help draw them in with excitement, delight, a sense of warmth, belonging, and curiosity or send them rushing out the door, as soon as they are old enough to get out from beneath their parents' rule, never to return again.

How children will experience church as "God's House" will depend on us.Stop for a moment and ponder that. It's a massive responsibility. Let it sink into your brain. Tell yourself... how the children in my life, in my church will experience this place as "God's House," God's welcoming place, will depend on ME.

Are you ready for that?

I'm assuming you are and that's why you're here.

 As we begin this "study" together, let's begin by taking a look at our own relationships with the church. What is your history with church? 

• Were you one of the little ones running to and fro who was told not to run in God's house? 
• Were you one of the teens who baffled the adults with your presence, your odd clothing, and your music? 
• Were you a young adult who delighted the older members, just because you were actually there? 
• Did you finally start coming to church because you had young children of your own and felt the need?
• If not one of these scenarios, when did you first experience church? And how?

We all had to gave a "first" experience in church, or whatever may be our own faith community, at some point in time. Some of us may not remember, while others may have very vivid memories. Yet now, we come as adults and are able to watch the children and teens in our midst. We probably have a myriad of opinions about them. 

• Why are they here? (Rotten, little beasties.)
• Why aren't they more under control?
• Where are their parents?
• Why aren't there more of them?
• Why aren't there more people willing to work with them?
• What are their parents expecting us to do with them?
• How can we teach them in ways that are meaningful to children in this day and age?
• WHY, OH WHY, AREN'T OUR OLD TRIED AND TRUE METHODS WORKING?
• Insert your questions here...

Okay, presumably, if you are participating in the reading of this book and this blog, you don't really think the children in your faith community are rotten, little beasties. (Except on very rare occasions.) Presumably, you believe them to be wonderful gifts from God. You know that they are treasures and they have been entrusted into our care. And you know that we have but a very few years to awaken within them a love of God, a yearning to build a personal relationship with that mysterious Being, and a desire to remain in the church/temple/mosque long after their parents have stopped making them come on Sunday/Sabbath mornings.

I hope that you will enjoy this time together and you will find this book helpful. It's long been on my shelf and I finally realized it was time to share the wisdom within its pages.

This will be another study in which you can go at your own pace. I'll tackle the introduction one week, then one chapter per week after that. You may join in the discussions at your own convenience. Be sure to contact me if you have any questions or comments.

May God bless each of us as we seek to bless the children in our care.

Tamalyn

Hungry Still

This non-chapter, "Hungry Still", is my favorite chapter of Feinberg's book. It resonated with me more than any previous chapter. Her first sentence, "I'm convinced that people today know a lot more about how to become a Christian than about how to be one," is simple, yet profound.

Feinberg quotes Jesus standing at the door, knocking, and the phrase that popped out at me was, "and he with Me." We invite Jesus in to dine and, in that moment, we are making a powerful decision. In that moment we are making the decision to change our lives.

Feinberg asks, "How do we have depth?" I wonder... how do you find that depth in your own lives? How do you find the meaning and closeness that brings you near to the heart of God?

I love Feinberg's assertion that God wants to be closer to us. She mentions it twice in this section - if we already have a strong relationship with God, God wants to make it stronger, and if we are God's children, then God desires to spend time with us.

We are, indeed, God's children. Precious in God's sight. But, it is our responsibility to maintain those ties. Remember the old bumper sticker, "Feeling far from God? Guess who moved."

Feinberg's reminder is a good one, "If we are going to be God's people, part of the kingdom, then we must have more than information about God to offer; we must have God dwellling within us." Our relationship must be more than book learning. People need to see authentic, deeply held, understood and valued beliefs.

What are yours?

I hope that this book reading has been a good experience for you. It's been fun for me. I do love books! And this made me actually finish one of the books in my pile of "to read" books.

Thank you for sharing this experience with me.

Love and peace to you all. And may we all continue to hunger for God.

Tam

.006 Have You Heard?

This chapter, the final chapter of Hungry for God, takes us through the journey of decision making. This is often one of the most difficult tasks of our daily lives. You’d think that, since we are constantly making decisions, we’d be very good at it. But all too often, decisions stymie us.
 
I’ve often thought that life would be much simpler if God would simply tell me what to do. I’ve known people who believed that God did that for them. They could hear God’s voice as clear as day. And the statement, “God told me _______________” (you fill in the blank) made complete sense.
 
In fact, Gary and I had a woman in one of our churches for whom God chose her dining room set. I jest not. She was truly grateful for this wonderful blessing in her life.
 
That’s never been my story. And so, I rely on other things to guide my decisions. And I like the questions that Feinberg uses to guide her decision-making process.
 
Do these questions work for you? Which ones most resonate with you? Which do not? And why?
 
Have you had experiences in which you have felt God’s leading? Have you made decisions that made God’s head shake in amazement over your every move?
 
Feinberg’s look at Mary’s  “treasuring all these things, pondering them in her heart,” encouraging us to do likewise, makes me ponder something else. When Feinberg writes, “The words God speaks are sacred and are often meant just for you,” I agree. But tying this all together with the idea that sometimes we’re wrong in our understanding of what God is telling us, cause me concern about us misinterpreting the messages of God. If we’re keeping it all to ourselves because we think we’re not understanding God’s messages, we’d be much better off running our thoughts by someone else wiser than ourselves. A mentor, a pastor, a teacher, an elder. Someone who has known and followed this God a long, long time might be a good place to start.
 
I do like Feinberg’s concluding thoughts on the danger of focusing on our disappointments. She warns that if we do this, we might miss out on “the divine appointments God has for us.” She writes, “When I look back on my mistakes, I’m still grateful for what God showed me through them.”
 
I pray that your life has been full of many joys and blessings. And when it has not, I pray that God has blessed you with many lessons worth learning!
 
Peaceful thoughts for your week,
Tam
 
P.S. Next week will bring the concluding thoughts for our book, as we take a look at the closing section, “Hungry Still.”